Poetry, Parenthood, and Speaking Truth: Amanda Crundall’s Story

I’m delighted to have a blog spot as an author with Partnership Publishing. Who am I? I am a passionate poet, writer, radio presenter, host and performer based in East Yorkshire. My debut poetry collection “Heart on Her Sleeve” is published by Partnership Publishing, Enigma Press.

I want to share with you some of the reasons why I have been busily writing away consistently for the last three years in particular and what I enjoy writing about. A main driver for my pen to paper is the power of words to manage the trials and tribulations of life. We all have our never-ending journey and chapters which can turn unexpectedly powerful at times; both in positive and negative ways.

Writing poetry and spoken word commentary fulfils a cathartic release through a spectrum of emotions and feelings. As a passionate advocate for mental health & well-being, I have been on the receiving end of how writing for therapeutic wellness has been successful. I often write about depression, anxiety, domestic violence, childhood trauma, heartbreak, toxicity, bullying, and neurodiversity, including autism. As much as these themes can be heavy in heart, I also write about my beautiful, amazing children, my love of felines, cardiology, positive love, the environment, societal woes and the one technological advancement I so much dislike, artificial intelligence!! I think a balance is good, but I started off very bleak; I don’t feel glum about that, as it was what I needed at the time. Life is a book, and we have many chapters: past, present and the unknown to discover. My advice is just to write about whatever comes to mind and go with it. Don’t stop to overthink; get your thoughts and feelings down on paper. Whatever you do, don’t think you have to be academic or well versed on styles and types of poetry and written word. Your voice has its unique story to tell; by sharing your story, poem, or notes with just yourself or an audience remains your decision, always. Writing is a type of personal growth and self-empowerment. The freedom of expression is a mighty personal ally.

I speak from experience, believe me, which leads me nicely onto the challenges of motherhood, caring for an autistic child, my son, he’s just turned 11. I’ve never been a big fan of watching TV or series as such, it’s just never appealed, always constantly on the go with a lack of rest and recoup time (you know, the usual parental thing where you just don’t get a lot of “downtime”) although, with my traumas to contend with, I keep myself busy with distraction - that is not always a good thing, I have learnt.

Anyway, have you seen Motherland? I came across it recently; I howled, I cried, I shouted at the screen. I saw so many resemblances of the mothers on the school run, including my own foibles. It has made me reflect a little more about the judgements that are made about parental age, appearance, education, and social status, but most horrendously about children with challenges. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but unleashing the tongue, as we know, can be far more hurtful and long-lasting. My son is a caring, intelligent, creative and responsible young lad; he also struggles with, on a minute-by-minute basis, the curveballs (sometimes more than others) of autism. Emotional dysregulation and struggles relating to executive functioning are top nuggets that often require careful, compassionate and empathic understanding.

Our society can be unforgiving. An educational system that is broken, personal socialisation skills being robbed by social media and screens, coupled with socio-economic constraints causing society to fight with one another at the drop of a hat. Those with neurodiversity are an easy target for bullies, the uninformed, and those generally expressing unkindness and lack of insight.

There have been so many challenges as a mother I could write about in this month, ranging from trying to access special education need assessment, recognition of autism, obtaining a diagnosis, bullying, isolation, and discrimination of those in need… the list could go on forever, but the focus on parental attitudes and the impact on all children is the gravest of late I have experienced alongside my son.

I’ve written some thoughts down; do you resonate with these? Have you experienced the challenges? Have you been on the receiving end of similar problems? If you have, I hear you and empathise wholeheartedly; my heart is always worn upon my sleeve; at times that can be incredibly difficult day to day.

Amanda's Debut Poetry Book: Heart on Her Sleeve

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Just imagine

Just imagine 

You're 10, again 

Just imagine 

Can you take yourself back? 

Just imagine 

I know many of you can 

You are the most creative people I know!

The most vibrant 

The eclectic 

The fun 

The insane within sane 

The talented 

The unique 

BUT, it comes at a cost, right? 

Misunderstanding

Miscommunication 

Dysregulation 

Overwhelming consuming feelings of inadequacy 

At times 

LONELY 

Trapped in a world of intolerance of difference 

And indifference 

You're 10 again 

You're lost, alone, overwhelmed, rejected 

Fighting the fences of the system 

Incomprehensible right? 

You're tired 

You're scared of your difference 

You sob in the arms of your parents 

Hoping things will be OK

There's a saying 

You will find your tribe 

and get their vibe 

You will feel more at ease 

And yes you won't please, all 

It will happen

It might take a whole life time, sadly 

You will shine 

You will get there 

even in this heartless world 

It needn't be so hard though, eh? 

You are the light in people's darkness

You help other's with their journey

It's not all dark

Keep sparkling 

Keep being you 

Please

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I’m That Parent!

Yes, I'm that parent 

You know

Who stands up and says what she thinks 

The one who stands up to the bullies

The cackle collective 

The toxic parental cleeks

Whilst they snoop and don't speak

Yes, I'm that parent 

The one with the autistic kid 

The older mum, you know

The educated one! 

Who doesn't partake in gossip 

Just protects and try's to speak 

Of the reality going on that falls to ignorance 

Yes, I'm that parent 

The one that never gives in

Tirelessly working to fight for justice 

from their judgemental attitudes 

Whilst they smirk and swipe 

Catcalling and bickering 

Prejudice prevailing 

I'm that parent,

The tall skinny one 

The solo mum 

Who finds time to run 

Holding her head up high 

Trying not to cry 

As you slate, my child 

I'm that parent

You do not want to mess with 

I do not give in 

until they stop making that din 

Bullies will never win 

They carry the burden

It will destroy their minds in the end 

Cowering lowly in their dens

Thank goodness 

I’M THAT PARENT