An Open Heart: Exploring Life, Loss, and Hope with Michaela Kellogg – Author of Buds

In this heartfelt Q&A, we sit down with Michaela Kellogg, the author of Buds, a children's book that delicately explores themes of life, death, and the eternal bond of love. Inspired by profound personal experiences, Michaela's journey in writing Buds began with a simple yet meaningful question from her son and blossomed into a story that provides comfort and connection for readers of all ages. Her poignant reflections on grief and the afterlife create a space for meaningful conversations, reminding us that love transcends time and space. Join us as we delve into the inspiration behind Buds, Michaela's writing process, and her hopes for the readers who share in this journey of remembrance and healing.

What made you want to write a story like Buds?

Years ago, our middle son Sam (7) asked if we could Google a picture of Heaven for him. “Clearly, we haven’t spent enough time talking about what comes next,” we laughed.

While the idea of Heaven is one of the most widely held beliefs, the traditional ‘we’re born, we live, we die, then go to Heaven or Hell forever’ isn’t inclusive enough for me or many of today’s parents. For instance, one-third of young Americans believe in reincarnation. The same holds true for the British. Some believe in Heaven and reincarnation. And still others imagine an alternate dimension or reality.

While I’ve found there are plenty of children’s books defining specific religious ideologies on death and the afterlife, I hadn’t come across any that leave it open to interpretation or that invite readers to fill in the gaps together. That’s why I thought Buds might have a place in people’s lives. I wanted to create something that might prompt meaningful conversations between readers and children, especially at a time when they need it most. It has certainly helped us.

Tragically, our oldest son, Ben, died in a car accident in early March of 2024. He was nine. To say we are irrevocably broken is an understatement. This story exists in his honor, representing the extraordinary and eternal relationship he has with his younger brothers, Sam and Will. For us, it has served as a salve of sorts, and I hope it has the potential to help other readers also believe that it is possible to remain buds forever, “no matter what.”

What was it like to write a book for children?

Writing a book for children simply began as writing a book for our children. Like many parents, I’ve always loved musing with our kids over life’s big mysteries and find their matter-of-fact and uncomplicated points of view to be deeply insightful, (and humbling). Years ago, when Sam first asked about what Heaven looked like, the first draft of Buds spilled out onto the page all in one day as a dialogue between two best friends. From there, it’s taken many twists, turns, iterations, and evolutions. I had put the story away, but Ben’s sudden death, our deep anguish, and our desperate need to find ways to talk about this loss with his two younger brothers inspired me to pull it back out and finish it.

Can you share a little about yourself? What do you enjoy doing when you're not writing?

If you’re coming to this book because you’re someone who has also experienced profound loss, however you define that for yourself, perhaps you can relate to no longer feeling like the person I used to be. That version of me also died the moment the two cars collided. That means some of the things I used to enjoy or value no longer carry the same joy. I’m trying to find out who this new person is.

What seems to bring about the most peace at the moment are tactile and physical activities, like going for walks, hikes, bike rides, running and exercising, sitting in our yard at night and admiring the moon and stars, or listening to the birds in the very early morning hours. Also, simple things like long showers, reading, filling up a vase with fresh flowers, and talks with close friends, family, and coworkers. My closest friend, Holden, and I are trying our hand at watercolor painting — she from her home in Sweden and I from our kitchen in the United States — which is proving joyful for me but most unfortunate for those forced to look at my creations.

As many people report, it seems the simplest things really do have the power to bring about the most comfort. And certainly any activity that includes my husband and our children is what will forever make me the happiest.

Buds, Michaela Kellogg

Why did you choose to write about tree buds? What do you hope kids will think about when they read your story?

I love to write in our sunroom. Our home is quite small, so this sunroom also serves as a mudroom, playroom, exercise space, a little greenhouse, an office, and so on and so on. And when it’s tidied, it’s my favorite room in the house. The light streams in, the whole room gets warm, and I sit with a cup of tea and look out over our little piece of Earth at the trees as they change from season to season, dropping their leaves in the fall and regrowing as buds in the spring. That’s where the idea came to make the friends in the story buds.

When grown-ups and children read Buds together, I hope it will encourage them to share what they think happens when someone dies. Are they gone forever? Do you believe you’ll see them again? If so, in what way? Where? What does it look like? What do souls look like? What might they be doing at this very moment? All too often I find the narrative around religion, death, and the afterlife focuses on what we believe is right. But what I’ve come to learn is that to focus on whether one another’s beliefs are right is to focus on the wrong thing. We might instead look at the meaning these beliefs hold for each of us, and the power they have to inspire a life well lived.

The buds talk about what happens when they fall from the tree. Why did you think it was important to talk about this in your story?

Everyone wonders about death. Even children. Especially children, perhaps. But the process of dying has been sanitized over the years and is now almost completely removed from our view. So, we find death more fearful now than ever before, and generally, avoid talking about it. Feeling closer to death is something my family needs now more than ever. If Buds can play a small part in changing how we see it, understand it, and talk about it, perhaps it can help make our pain and grief a bit lighter to shoulder.

Is there a part of the story that is your favourite? If so, which part and why?

The ending. Because it’s what I will spend my life hoping to one day experience, myself.

Who are your favourite authors or books, especially those that might have influenced Buds?

My style has been compared to that of Jon Klassen in his wonderfully minimal picture books I Want My Hat Back and We Found a Hat, which keep to first-person back-and-forth dialogue and rely on the illustrations to tell the full story. He's far and away my favorite. Like many, I’ve also blubbered like an idiot at the masterpiece that is Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, and with humility, I hope that readers find Buds carries even a fraction of the emotional core it does. On a lighter note, my favorite book in all of children’s literature is Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type, by Doreen Cronin. May we all aspire to be as neutral a party as Duck.

Can you tell us what message you hope children and parents will take away from reading Buds?

It’s up to each of us to define what a relationship through space and time looks like… but it is possible to stay connected to someone forever.

How do you feel about sharing Buds with the world? What are you most excited about?

I feel supremely grateful. Death will always be sad. Most times, devastatingly so. But talking about it doesn’t also have to be scary. I’m most excited at the prospect of helping readers form deep connections while talking about what they believe comes next.

Where can people go to learn more about you and your book Buds? How can they connect with you?

To learn a bit more about Buds and how it came to be, you can find me on Substack: @michaelakellogg. There, I plan to share a bit more of a behind-the-scenes look at the story, as well as our personal experience through grief, and navigating profound loss.

I've also just begun a project there titled "Near Death," which aims to feature talks with people frequently around death - religious leaders, hospice workers, doctors, mediums - as well as those who remember past lives, have experienced near death experiences or profound loss as well. We have a lot to learn from one another.

To get in touch directly, I invite you to send a postcard with your name, email, and more about your experience navigating loss with your family or loved ones. I'm especially interested in learning about the rituals and beliefs that are helping shepherd you through your own grief journey.

Address and mail your postcard to:

Michaela Kellogg

PO Box 71

Hopedale, MA, 01747

United States of America

I do my best to reply to each note. Because grief can be so isolating, every postcard will also be carefully photographed and added to Substack as a way of helping share your story and remembering the person you've lost. (Of course, if you don't want your story shared, simply note that on the card.)

It is a supreme privilege to read your stories, share in your heartache and walk alongside you in your grief.